leahandillyana

I dressed Nikki as a magical girl in Shining Nikki

2021-08-27T06:11:37Z

(Damn, it looks so good on my phone but on a pc screen it looks as if it came from 2005 :( )

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leahandillyana @ 2021-08-19T10:22:00

2021-08-19T08:25:05Z

I think I might have explained the 90s AIDS crisis to someone who's been a gay activist in the 90s. Fuuuck. I thought our radically different attitudes towards marriage came from lack of context, but she has so much more context that I do. Fuuck.

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I'm really proud of this composition I made in Love Nikki

2021-08-03T07:38:44Z

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leahandillyana @ 2021-07-02T10:47:00

2021-07-02T08:47:42Z

I like internet much more than real life. Here, I am usually treated as being the gender I tell I am.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-06-16T08:33:00

2021-06-16T06:34:30Z

I was in the process of helping my uncle book a vist to a doctor and phoned him to ask when would he be avaiable and my aunt told me how my granny despised me instead. I cannot stand it, I just cannot, I want to help people but am met with anger and agression instead. I try to be nice, in spite of my autistic inclinations, but barely anyone irl is nice to me, and I don't even have people to talk about it so I have to vent here. I don't even think my granny thought that, she was one of the greatest people I knew. But if she did, it... hurts. And she is long dead, so I cannot confirm either way.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-06-01T10:01:00

2021-06-01T08:08:22Z

Living with others is really frustrating, because I cannot really make choices for myself. It was a difficult battle to be allowed to paint the walls in my room a greenish-bluish paint - it's not even a colour I particularly like, but I would never be allowed to paint it my favourite colors, but I positively hate the piss yellow color the rest of the house is painted in. Blue curtains were another battle. So was beige furniture instead of white set (I wanted dark brown but it was rejected on the spot). I cannot buy what I want to cook with, because I have to cook for everyone - even though the food "everyone" eats is inedible for me. I loved how on Saturday my parents left and I could cook a vegetable curry and read manga. At least I have a room of my own, that's pretty new for me. I also wish mother stopped throwing my stuff away when I'm not looking.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-05-29T18:05:00

2021-05-29T16:10:47Z

A then 12 year old student in 2017 protested against her school celebrating the 100th anniversary of the October Revolution and now got an order from the president for it. On the ceremony everybody talked about protecting freedom of expression while celebrating crushing others' freedom of expression. It's very minor but frustrating. I am more and more unsure whether my interpretation of events is legitimate so concrit is appreciated.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-05-28T11:40:00

2021-05-28T09:41:41Z

Worst take I have encountered in my life is quite likely "eusocial hymenopteran colonies are fascistic". There's antropomorphism, and then there's... this.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-05-25T23:46:00

2021-05-25T21:49:27Z

The worst thing in the world is when you take your usual sleeping pills, but they don't work because you drank cola before. So you take a stronger pill and sleep for about two hours. Then you wake up and realize you won't fall back asleep without another pill.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-05-17T12:32:00

2021-05-17T10:34:01Z

I'm afraid that I say something that will make people dislike me and I end up not sharing my mind on potentially controversial topics at all. :(

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leahandillyana @ 2021-04-21T13:02:00

2021-04-21T11:05:05Z

I hate it when everything with sex in it is labelled porn. I mean, porn is fine, but the stories I've seen dismissed as porn online often have some of the deepest, most complex plots I've encountered period. And even fetishy series like Captive Prince usually don't have that much sex in it. Caste Haven recently went having a whole volume without sex scenes. But I am a filthy pervert for reading these stories, unlike "normal" men who don't like plot in their porn.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-04-18T15:32:00

2021-04-18T13:35:58Z

All humans are shit. You cannot say "this group of people are all good and good only, only that group of people is capable of evil". YOU are capable of evil, I am capable of evil, and we need to be aware of this to prevent ourselves from doing evil!!!!!

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leahandillyana @ 2021-04-14T19:33:00

2021-04-14T17:34:19Z

Oxygene low. Thinking hard. Must clean the house.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-04-14T19:00:00

2021-04-14T17:02:14Z

I thought I was strong. That I will stand here out of spite. But I am not strong. I cannot stand against all odds. I am a small animal cornered in its burrow. I am so afraid.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-04-14T18:56:00

2021-04-14T16:56:44Z

I'm so, so afraid I cannot deal with it.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-04-14T17:00:00

2021-04-14T15:03:17Z

Youtube recommended me one after another videos where a neo nazi and a feminist complained about the "degeneracy" of male/male content in manga. This is a joke. There's no way these people hating m/m shippers are unaware of each other.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-04-14T16:23:00

2021-04-14T14:23:33Z

Knee deep snow. Fuck you. FUCK YOU.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-04-14T11:22:00

2021-04-14T09:24:42Z

I should stop listening to the inner censor who keeps mocking me for everything I do, and when I don't do anything particularly worthy of mockery, still mocks me for liking BL.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-04-14T10:19:00

2021-04-14T08:28:27Z

There many popular articles on the links between atheism and far right, and while it certainly is a thing that exist, there's way, way more corelation between being a christian fanatic and being far right, which is not talked about because the society sees christian fanaticism as normal. I have seen many instances of human rights being under attack in the name of god, but never under the name of no god, not since the Khmer Rouge fell at least. Even communist regimes of Europe quickly allied themselves with local clergy after commrade Stalin bit the dust.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-04-12T14:57:00

2021-04-12T12:58:22Z

The unending frost and persistent snow cover is driving me crazy.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-04-09T14:04:00

2021-04-09T12:08:21Z

I'd honestly rather move to Japan. I know Japanese and four other languages, and all the things foreigners complain of living in Japan are MUCH worse in Poland. "But Poland is in EU!" Do what? We have always been closer to Soviet Union in all aspects than United Kingdom.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-04-09T13:54:00

2021-04-09T11:58:43Z

I bet everything eventually circles back to alt right on youtube. I am used to getting nazi-adjacent recommendations on the account I use to screw around (creepypasta, Vocaloid, Love Nikki, anime), but when I logged on my "official" account that follows only PBS Eons and a small handful of paleobiology related channels I STILL got recommended nazi videos, if from different perspective.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-04-09T11:37:00

2021-04-09T09:38:01Z

"I don't have to argue about this" is a freeing realisation.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-04-09T11:27:00

2021-04-09T09:27:58Z

There you are, my trusted Pointy Ring, you will be my companion every time I leave home from now on.

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leahandillyana @ 2021-04-09T10:57:00

2021-04-09T08:59:20Z

I was assaulted today. Nothing serious, the attackers were a group of 12-14 year old boys. It just pisses me off. I swear I'll buy a pocket knife, those little shits would piss their pants if they saw I'm willing to fight. There's no point going to the police after being shouted, spewed and thrown snowballs at by strangers, hate crimes are nonexistent under Polish law anyways.
But you know, I'm angry. For the last decade I only sporadically appeared in that neighbourhood, always to accompany my mother for shopping or at hairdresser's. These boys have never met me. Yet the first time in their lives they saw me, they decided to attack. When I was just standing in front of a business, doing exactly nothing.

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